Murder

Murder

I’ve been abusing myself
I say I don’t deserve anymore than this
and that’s what I’ve learned to believe
there’s nothing more to me.

All that I am, is all that I hate
and everything I used to love has disappeared
it’s difficult to laugh and to smile
when I think happiness is fake.

[I murder myself with words
I believe in the lies.
Why do I trust only what hurts?
why can’t I realize
that love isn’t pain?]

I give in to the voices in my head
I’ve let them take over what I feel for myself
And soon they’re all that I hear,
and I depend on them to be there.

I realize it’s all my fault
I realize I’ve fallen this far down,
because I’ve pushed myself in this hole
and ate away at my own soul.

[I murder myself with words,
I believe in the lies.
Why do I only trust what hurts?
Why can’t I realize
that love isn’t pain?]